


Love makes the heart grow fonder (since absence is mostly overrated)

by blueberrywizard



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, And she lowkey can't deal with them, And the laid back one, Emotional Hurt, Fluff, Hints on f/f relationship, Hurt Jaskier | Dandelion, I love this tag I cannot, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Neglect, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Insecurity, Jaskier and Yen are chaotic duo, Jaskier is very supportive, Jaskier the drama queen, Jaskier | Dandelion Being a Feral Bastard, Jaskier | Dandelion Has a Past, Jaskier | Dandelion Needs a Hug, Light Angst, Multi, No Beta We Die Like Humans Without Their Witchers, Non-Linear Narrative, OT3, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, She swears a lot tho, Sickfic, Snow Day, Soft Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Supportive Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, Yennefer Has Feelings, Yennefer is kind when she wants to be, bad memories, mixed timelines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-02-24 21:20:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22164613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueberrywizard/pseuds/blueberrywizard
Summary: A collection of short stories with our beloved quartet in modern life.In which Jaskier is soft, Geralt is even softer, but we love him dearly, Ciri is a sweetheart and Yennefer is mostly done with everything.(26/06/20: Chapter 6)
Relationships: Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon/Other(s), Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion/Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, Jaskier | Dandelion/Yennfer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg
Comments: 44
Kudos: 678





	1. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! I have absolutely no fucking idea what had happened here; one day I was writing down some headcanons for modern au and two days later I've realised I have a whole ass wholesome winter fic that I didn't know I needed until now (I really miss snow, damn us for global warming). 
> 
> Anyway, when I was writing these headcanons I was thinking about small multi-chapter fic with different snapshots and a bit of mixed timeline? I'm not quite sure about it so let me know if you liked that and if you want to read more.
> 
> Just two more things: first, English is not my first language and I've tried to fix any errors but if you find something, let me know. The other thing is that I know nothing about Jaskier's past (and I'm assuming that I'll be focusing on him, because that pretty bastard stole my heart) because I haven't played the game and I've read like two books seven years ago. So I'm making things up mostly because it's an au and because I can. That's all.
> 
> Enjoy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Of (almost) Christmas time, snowmen and boys being soft.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from "It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas" by Michael Buble.

Geralt woke up to loud laughter and useless attempts in quieting it. He didn’t want to get up, not after his last contract: he hasn’t got any sleep in almost forty-eight hours and he was positively sure that every muscle in his body was strained and no amount of chamomile oil that Jaskier loves was able to relax them again. 

The laughter that woke him was clear and joyful, it reminded him of tiny, golden bells they hanged around the house lately. Ciri loved them and he was happy to see his loved ones dressing up the Christmas tree even if he didn’t care that much about Christmas. If they wanted to celebrate then that’s what they’re going to do, all of them. Even if that meant he’s going to be called ‘Grinch’ at least twice a day. 

“Shh, you’re going to wake him, Ciri.” Jaskier’s voice were quieter than Ciri’s laughter, but Geralt heard the amusement hiding beneath what should be scolding, but it never was, not fully. She obeyed him though, but didn’t stop laughing at whatever she had found funny. Probably it was something that Jaskier had done, he played with her a lot, giving her his full attention, even when he was supposed to do something else. It was quite a mystery for him, for a long time, Jaskier’s behaviour, that is. He knew that his bravado was only a mask and he was a gentle man, full of love and passion, but he hadn’t seemed to be a child loving person before Ciri came into their lives. 

“I’m not!” She said and began to giggle again, probably at Jaskier’s poor attempts in making scary face at her. All of them knew that Geralt was the best at making scary faces, but somehow no one in this bloody household was actually afraid of him (and there wasn’t a single second in his life when he wasn’t so fucking grateful for it).

“You do, you totally do and he’s going to be even grumpier, he’s going to scare Santa away. You wouldn’t want that, darling, would you? Geralt’s been working really hard lately, he needs his rest, alright? I promise we’ll do something fun later, princess.”

That seemed to convince her and their house had been quiet again so Geralt decided to try to get more sleep. He knew he wouldn’t get more than fifteen minutes, not with hyperactive child’s attention span. Only Yen could hold her attention for a longer time, mostly because she was great in giving everyone tasks they knew they just  _ had _ to do, or she’ll be mad. Geralt suspected that Ciri (and Jaskier too, for sure) was a bit afraid of her cold anger. 

When he woke up again, their house was suspiciously calm. Mildly concerned about it, since Jaskier and Ciri being quiet meant nothing but trouble, he got out of their bedroom to find them. It stopped snowing, so he had an idea where to start his search.

And he was right. They were in the background, sticking small branches into middle of what appeared to be a rather small snowman. Ciri wore her warmest clothes and she looked like a colourful ball on tiny legs, but that didn’t stop her from running everywhere and making snow angels when Jaskier turned away to pick a carrot. He watched them for a minute, then filled the kettle with water, knowing they’ll end soon and burst inside demanding a hot tea with ‘just a spoon of honey, please and thank you’ and ‘can I please get a cookie too?’. Hell, he needed a cup of coffee. Or maybe even two. And maybe a sandwich.

“You’re  _ finally _ awake! Jaskier and I made a snowman outside, have you seen it? And-” There she comes, light of his life, but also a menace with her constant blabbering about everything, throwing her wet coat into other menace’s hands without taking a pause to breathe. Jaskier, his cheeks pink from winter’s chill, even though he was wrapped in thick, green scarf before, helped her unlace the shoes, so she could storm off to the kitchen and hug Geralt properly. 

“Hi.” Jaskier said, smiling softly. “Yen called.”

“She did?” She rarely called when she was working as she was a busy woman with ‘I take no bullshit from anyone’ attitude. They loved her for that and she certainly had her ways to make sure that all of them had her attention, once she was home.

“Yeah, she said something about working longer today? I’m not so sure, because certain  _ someone _ was screaming into my ear questions about watching  _ Frozen _ later.” Jaskier looked at Ciri, eating a snack in a living room, and rolled his eyes. Both of them knew that Ciri was very persistent when she wanted something and lately she didn’t care about much more than rewatching  _ Frozen _ over and over again. “I hope that means she’ll be home for the rest of the week, though. We should do something together, don’t you think?”

Geralt sighed. Jaskier was right - they had been working a lot lately, all of them, and they didn’t get much time to spend together, like they should. 

“That’s not a bad idea.” He said and shit, Jaskier’s smile was blinding. “But please, no more  _ Frozen _ .”

He laughed.

“We can certainly try, but I have a feeling that it won’t be an easy battle, dear. Maybe we should something else, instead? I don’t know,  _ Arthur Christmas? _ I don’t care anymore, I’ve been singing songs from that damned movie for at least a fortnight.” 

“I don’t care either, as long as it isn’t  _ Grinch.” _

Jaskier snorted and went to the living room to play that damned movie for Ciri, leaving him in charge of making them something to eat.

“Oh, and Geralt?”

“Hm?”

“Put some honey into my tea, please and thank you!”

  
  



	2. I will come home in time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yen comes home, Jaskier is sick and Ciri watches _Harry Potter_ because she wants to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we are again! I've decided to try writing a fic with more than one chapter (and a comment gave me an idea what could happen next).
> 
> I didn't mention it earlier, mostly because there was no reason to do it, but this story won't be linear. I like mixing timelines and it's a bit easier for me that way? I hope it won't trouble you that much. 
> 
> So yes, Yen finally came home, but, like, _later._ Ciri's older in this one too.
> 
> Chapter title borrowed from "Home" by Madeon since I haven't got a better idea.

_ This. Is. Fucking. Tedious. _ Yennefer thought.  _ Idiots, idiots everywhere. And a fucking traffic, I swear to god, I’m going to hit someone. _

Turns out, the universe often fucks with people. And today universe had decided that no, Yennefer isn’t going to be home as soon as it’s possible, she’s going to be stuck in two miles long line, between two cities, and no, she can’t take a detour, because reasons. 

Also, her whole day was a one big disaster. Incompetent morons and dumb people were a part of her job for a long time, but today they just outdid themselves. Really, all she wanted was a warm dinner, hot bath and maybe a hug from Ciri and her boys. But no, everything has to be against her, it would be too easy otherwise. 

_ Deep breaths, Yennefer, deep breaths. _

She tried not to be that irritated, because then she would come home angry and she wanted to avoid these situations. She knew it would make Jaskier uneasy and Geralt even grumpier - he would want to make things right, even when both of them were aware that he couldn’t do anything beside letting her cool down on her own.

She felt exhausted, maybe that’s why her temper was so short. She considered turning her phone off for the weekend, but she knew she couldn’t do it, not with the amount of work she had.

Yennefer exhaled loudly when cars started to -  _ fucking finally _ \- move. Maybe her evening could be saved. 

Famous last words.

When she stepped through the door, the house was quiet and dark. It was before eight, so it was unusual for them. She hung her coat, noticing that Geralt’s jacket wasn’t there. 

Leaving her things in a hallway, she went into the living room. One, small lamp in the corner was lit up, revealing Ciri curled up on a couch, already in her pajamas. 

“Ciri? Where’s everybody?”

She looked up and smiled, but Yen already knew that she was worrying over something.

“Oh, hi. Jaskier’s dying.”

That certainly wasn’t something she had expected.

“Or at least that’s what he’s saying.” Ciri continued and went back to watching a movie. 

“Oh. All right. And where’s Geralt?” She asked even though she suspected where the man had gone.

“He went to the pharmacy. Jaskier had a fever all day, then throw up and I think he passed out for a minute? Anyway, he said to watch over Jaskier, but Jaskier said he doesn’t want me to catch anything, so I’m watching  _ Harry Potter _ and listening in case he needs me.”

Yen smiled softly and kissed Ciri’s head.

“Go to sleep soon, okay? I’ll see how he’s holding up.”

He isn’t. Yen had known it even before she walked into their bedroom. Jaskier had been lying on Geralt’s side of the bed, breathing heavily and holding tight to a quilt. His cheeks were red from the fever, his hair - usually a mess, but now it was so much worse - sweaty and unkept and his tired eyes, even though a bit red rimmed, were closed. He was in pain and he was reaching his breaking point. 

“Hi there.” She whispered, when he opened one eye to register who’s standing over him. “How are you? Brought you some water, Ciri told me you have a fever.”

“Hey.” Jaskier’s voice, almost always pleasant to the ear, was coarse. “Not good, please go away or I might throw up on you.”

She didn’t like that, not at all. She remembered how he got laryngitis, shortly after they all got together. He was devastated and in panic, she couldn’t recall if she had seen him being that afraid before of even after. And he was the worst type of sick person, ever: either claiming to be dying or stubbornly doing things even though he should be resting. Sometimes he even managed to do both at the same time. 

“You should at least try and drink some water before Geralt will come with a medicine. Have you taken anything?”

“Yeah, he gave me some pills and miraculously, they had stayed in my stomach.”

“I’m assuming you haven’t seen a doctor, though?”

Jaskier snorted, but it quickly turned to rapid coughing. 

“Take a guess, Yen.”

She sighed. That man was the most stubborn of them all, which was pretty impressive considering the fact how relentless she was, never mind Geralt and his blind, tough determination. 

“You’re an idiot, Jaskier. Try to get more sleep, hopefully you feel better tomorrow.”

He grunted something in response, but he didn’t seem like he wanted to argue with her, god fucking bless. Now, that her nice evening was ruined, she could at least pour herself some wine and make sure they had everything what it needs to make some broth. She was sure that Jaskier won’t be able to stomach anything else. 

Just as she ended changing into more comfortable clothes, she heard the front door being opened.

“How is he?” She heard Geralt talking to Ciri, so she went to greet him. His brows were furrowed in what she knew was a concern, and not only his usual grouchiness. “I picked up some things, he should eat something before taking more pills.”

“I don’t think he will. We could make some broth for him, though. He’s resting now and I really hope that it’s just bad cold, because if it’s flu, Ciri’s going to catch it too. That would be just our luck.”

Geralt hummed and kissed her briefly.

“Then it’s a good thing that I’m never sick, isn’t it?”

“Yes, yes, be a big, protective, manly man somewhere else, we don’t need that kind of energy in this house.”

He rolled eyes at him and she smirked. Both of them knew that he’s going to be protective of them, just like she’s going to be snarky, and Jaskier’s going to sing literally everywhere. 

“Go, watch the rest of the movie with Ciri. I’ll take care of everything.”

For a brief second she wanted to argue with him, just because she could, but then she did as she was told. She missed Ciri and she really wanted to spend some time in stress-free environment. With wine. And possibly some sandwiches. 

“I know.”

Hell, she was glad to be finally  _ home. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any grammatical errors!
> 
> Also if you have a request or anything you would like to read: let me know and I'll try my best to deliver it!


	3. It feels like I only go backwards

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jaskier is supposed to be cleaning, but he's not and Ciri have a tiny problem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had at least four different versions of this chapter and at this point I stopped thinking about which one I really wanted you to read. So it'll probably have a continuation, because I still have some ideas about Ciri and Jaskier's relationship and how Jaskier's past had affected it. 
> 
> Also, I wrote this one in an hour between preparing presentations and studying for finals; at this point putting words together in correct order makes no sense. I hate January. 
> 
> Title from Tame Impala's "Feels Like We Only Go Backwards".

He gently touched his old guitar, dusted and well worn. He exhaled heavily, looking around. The room was dusty and dark, but he promised he’ll clean up the attic since Geralt was too busy to do it this time. It wasn’t his favourite thing to do, he was the one who run away from memories, not cherish them.  _ Sentiment, _ he thought,  _ what an awful feeling. _

Most of their things were packed up in boxes with their names on the lids. He didn’t like what they had contained and he was pretty sure at least three of his were never opened. But his guitar though… memories connected to it were bittersweet and he was sure that somewhere nearby should be another box, with songs and other drafts. Looking for it certainly won’t help him with cleaning, but whatever. He had plenty of time.

His guitar wasn’t as out of tune as he suspected. He started to slowly hum one of the songs he wrote a long time before, even before Ciri, when running was, ironically, the only constant in his life. 

Loud, clear voice calling his name distracted him a bit, but he hadn’t stopped moving his fingers and pulling the strings.

“Upstairs!”

A minute later he saw Ciri, looking a bit worried. She braided her hair and she wore pretty dress with flower pattern. It looked like she had some plans in the afternoon that didn’t involve  _ parental units. _

“You need something, darling? It’s a bit filthy in here.” He said, smiling softly at her, putting down the guitar to give her his undivided attention.

“I wanted to ask you something.” she answered, but her hands fluttered nervously and she looked as if she was trying to find the best words to said something he definitely won’t like. He never screamed at her, not even once, but this unusual nervousness was making him a bit uneasy.

“I’m listening then.”

“Can I- Can I maybe go out tonight? With friends?” Jaskier had a feeling she’s going to add something, so he stayed silent. “Well, one friend actually.”

_ Bingo. _

“Are you asking me first or because Geralt and Yen said no?” 

She rolled her eyes and found the cleanest pillow to sit on. 

“No, I didn’t talk to them about it. I kinda… don’t want to. Not yet.” She looked less worried now, but there was something tense in her posture. He knew the feeling, the insecurity bound with what his heart had desired. It made him sad, because she shouldn’t remind him of his own past, she should be ecstatic, happy, full of positive emotions. But he knew there’s always the other side of the coin, so he decided to pry a bit.

“And why is that?”

“It’s not like it’s something serious, okay? And I’m nervous. She’s so beautiful and smart and strong, I don’t want to mess it up.”

_ Oh, darling. _

“Well I doubt that they’re going to be prejudiced, dear. So why are you worried?” 

He didn’t want to assume things, he needed her answers. They always aimed to be supportive guardians, giving Ciri freedom to become a person she wanted to be. His parents hadn’t got his back like that, never. They only pushed and pushed, and pushed, until he couldn’t bear it anymore. 

“If they hear I’m going on a date, they’ll probably assume it’s a boy, because that’s the worst option to them and they’re pessimists. So I wanted… I don’t know. Your support, I guess?” She looked at him, full of hope and innocence. He swallowed and smiled reassuringly.

The point is, he would do anything for her. He knew it since he first saw her, so small, but already making everyone around her happier. It was the best and the worst moment of his life. The best, because he had already loved her. The worst, because his heart contained so much insecurity, worry and some kind of fear that always was underneath his skin, he was afraid he’ll blow up. He saw her in Geralt’s strong arms, but all he could actually  _ see _ was how history will repeat itself: he’ll end up on the street again, with his heart broken, because he is never  _ enough _ for anyone to love him unconditionally. Geralt and Yen will have their  _ home, _ their  _ family _ and all the love they  _ deserved, _ but without him, because really, why should they love him and take care of him, when they had an actual child now. All they had ever wanted, but what could never happen was at their fingertips. And people had left him for the lesser reasons. 

He kept it inside until Geralt had finally noticed. 

He inhaled sharply, his thoughts focused on Ciri, in the present, once again.

“Listen to me, Cirilla. You’ll  _ always _ have my support. And of course you can go out on a date, as long as you’ll be home before dark or if you let us know you need someone to pick you up. But I think you should talk to Yennefer or Geralt. You’re the most important person to us and we simply don’t want you to get hurt. And even though your - hypothetical - mistakes will be your own, some of them should never be repeated and I had a fair share of them to know which ones I don’t want to see again. Losing trust in your parents is definitely one of them.”

_ (He knew she’ll think of all of them, but even after all these years when he says “your parents” to her, he means “Geralt and Yen”. He hates himself for it.) _

“Thank you!” She hugged him tightly. He was glad to see her happy and almost beaming with barely concealed excitement. “And I talk to them, but if see a pocket knife or a pepper spray in my coat, it’s your fault.”

“There’s never too many knives a girl can own, dear.” He laughed, repeating Yennefer’s “words of wisdom”. Ciri rolled her eyes and went to her room, leaving him alone with his thoughts.

_ There, there. It’s time to stop being sentimental and have some work done. _

The remains of the song he played earlier stayed with him a bit longer, but it didn’t matter. He has his  _ family _ now and he’s happier than he ever was. 

_ Your past is just a story. And once you realize this it has no power over you. _

Chuck Palahniuk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm aware that narrative in this chapter is a bit different and that's because I put Jaskier into "idiots I love and I'll make them suffer" drawer. Happy-go-lucky characters have the best angsty potential, I swear to god.
> 
> I'm still taking requests or suggestions for next chapters. Just leave me a comment!


	4. I’ll scream, but you won’t hear (‘Forget me not’)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaskier needs a hug (or a thousand), Yen has feelings and Geralt is the softest man on planet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my third attempt in writing this chapter and I finally (more or less) succeed. I'm halfway through my finals and I wrote this one after the hardest exam, so if you see any mistakes, forgive me. I forgot how sentences are supposed to be working, but I know a lot about ethics in business instead.
> 
> The title and song used in this fic are from "Elsa's Song" by The Amazing Devil.

“Are you coming to bed?” Geralt said, peeking through the open door to a tiny room where Jaskier had been keeping his instruments, music sheets and books, stocked in piles almost everywhere. He had no idea how did they get there or why there was so many of them, it looked like they had been multiplying when nobody’s looking.

“Yeah, in a minute.” Jaskier answered absently, writing something in his small and neat handwriting. Geralt thought for a second that he was writing a new song, but then, something was wrong lately. He knew it, he  _ felt _ it, but he couldn’t  _ see _ what it was.

He was going to bed late and waking up early. It was almost like he wasn’t even sleeping with them in bed, considering how often he woke up with Yen’s curly black hair in his mouth and nose. 

And the house was quiet. Jaskier always,  _ always, _ hummed or played some tunes while writing new piece of music. He’s an active composer, constantly looking for some stimulation, fiddling and mumbling under his nose.

“Okay. Don’t keep us waiting for too long, though.” Geralt replied softly, as if he didn’t want to interrupt him, but mainly to hide growing concern, especially when Jaskier didn’t say anything. Jaskier wasn’t a quiet person, not even to save his life, and he could count on one hand times when his stillness and silence was truly meaningful. And it definitely felt like something incredibly  _ important. _

Geralt couldn’t say when it had started. All of them had been busy with work and with Ciri. She’s an amazing child, full of life and happiness, but she turned their lives upside down.  _ Child-surprise, _ Jaskier laughed back then when he was too dumbstruck to react properly on the idea of the future in which he’s a parent to anything else that isn’t Yen’s flora. 

But he had tried talking to Yennefer about Jaskier’s strange behaviour. She told him he’s probably overworked and he should wait a bit longer before confronting him and starting  _ a fight none of you can actually win. _ He tried to be reasonable about it, either. They had been aware that their lifestyle must change now, so maybe Jaskier was trying to adjust himself to new house dynamic? 

He missed him. Missed lying in bed with him, holding his slim waist and looking at Yen over his shoulder. Missed his humming and whistling while making breakfast. Missed being close to him, being close together, all three of them. 

It looked like he’s a man on a mission, because this situation was  _ fucking frustrating _ and he’s not going to sleep another night without  _ all _ of his lovers safely in bed with him. 

So, he decided to wait a bit to see what keeps Jaskier up all night ( _ To spy on him,  _ said the voice in his head, suspiciously similar to Yen’s). It wasn’t his best idea, that’s for sure, but he needs to start somewhere, right?

But first, a cup of tea, maybe. 

Doing simple tasks - the more repetitive, the better - always helped him to rationalise, to look at his problems from a different perspective, to calm down a bit. He often found himself making a hot drink for himself, just for a sake of distraction. It worked splendidly, because even though he supposed to be worried about Jaskier, he was already thinking about child-proofing their home. He wasn’t a complete fool, he knew that Ciri won’t be a quiet child forever and they need to be prepared for every single option. 

Speaking of Ciri, he was really surprised that a child her age had been sleeping through a whole night without making any noise. It’s not like he had any experience in raising small children, but he was fairly sure that they’re louder and fussier. He was prepared to waking up at least three times a night, since he was a light sleeper, and yet, there was no need for doing that.

He drank his tea and put an empty mug in a sink when he heard a small cry, almost immediately hushed by a quiet murmur, coming from Ciri’s room. When he came up a little closer to the door, he could hear whispering and his heart broke. 

Jaskier spoke, his voice full of barely tamed sorrow, to Ciri about how she needs to be a bit quieter, so her parents could get their sleep, how they never, ever going to leave her and even if one day he’ll inevitably be gone, he’ll love her forever. She slowly calmed down and Jaskier didn’t stop talking to her. He made her a thousand promises, how she’ll always be loved and safe, cherished and adored, understood and supported by  _ Geralt and Yen, and by me either, if only… If only, my darling. How about I’ll sing you something, so you can go to sleep again, hm?  _

Geralt wanted to open the door, but he didn’t want to spook Jaskier and frankly speaking, he needed a few moments to collect himself. While he was aware that Jaskier was afraid in the early days of their relationship about being left behind, they made sure he felt secured and loved. Neither of them could imagine a life in which he’s not with them and it looked like Jaskier had been trying to separate himself emotionally, waiting for Geralt and Yen to snap already and make him leave. 

His hands wouldn’t stop shaking, even after taking a deep breath and listening to Jaskier’s song. He never heard it before; it was a melancholic poem, heartbreaking, but also genuinely beautiful in a way that all sad things are.

_ I can hear the cannons calling as though across a dream; and I can smell the smoke of hell in every stitch and seam; and like flowers, the bodies tumble around this muddied lot; I cannot hear them scream: ‘Forget me not’. _

Faint squeaking of the wood told Geralt that he must’ve sat in a rocking chair with Ciri, still in his arms. He would like to see it, to take a picture and capture the moment forever, but on the other hand, a constant reminder of this night, of his sorrow and insecurity, a confession made only for child’s ears, would bring him nothing but pain.

_ Your voice it carries over - the hubbub and the hum; and it paints the sky and circles high like the beating of a drum; you will scream ‘I won’t forget you’, but I’ll cover my cold ears; it cannot be a lie if no-one hears. _

Jaskier voice was heavier now, stained with exhaustion. How many nights he had spent like that, in uncomfortable chair, rocking Ciri and singing to her, so they could get a few hours of undisturbed sleep? So he could, in a limited ways he had, prove himself  _ worthy _ of being in this family? So they could still  _ love _ him, even though they shouldn’t, because really, he’s just…  _ Jaskier. _

Geralt heard it, he  _ heard _ it all.

_ ‘Cause although you say good day to me I know I don’t belong; and although you hold my hand and say ‘I love you’, you are wrong, because love does not exist here - in this garden there’s no feeling; and you say the words so often that I barely know the meaning; and when all the flowers are rotten, and all the cannons shot I’ll scream, but you won’t hear: ‘Forget me not’. _

Fuck, he couldn’t stand it anymore, but once again squeaking of the chair stopped him in his tracks. Ciri was silent and the lullaby almost ended; Jaskier must’ve put her into her bed. He braced himself and took a deep breath, because screaming his frustration and anger wasn’t that helpful. He wasn’t angry with Jaskier, mostly with himself, but it didn’t change the fact that he felt these emotions and he was ninety-nine percent sure that Jaskier will think it’s his fault. 

_ And in years to come you’ll wander to the place up on our hill, and then you’ll cry to our painted sky: ‘I loved him then, I love him still’; and you’ll strew some sage and lilies, and roses where I rot; of all the flowers you picked I knew you would forget forget-me-nots. _

Geralt smiled softly; he sounded like all the times when he had been almost asleep in the car, but still humming a new song under his breath. Which also meant that he was sleeping in Ciri’s room every time he and Yen woke up in theirs without them. As quietly as he could, Geralt opened the door, only to see peacefully sleeping child and exhausted adult sleeping under said child’s bed, with his head on a grey, rabbit-shaped plush monstrosity Triss brought for Ciri. With a sigh, he picked him up very carefully, and put him down in the middle of their enormous bed, right where he belongs. Thank god, he didn’t wake up Yen - for all her love for travelling, she absolutely hated jet lag and she despised being woken up afterwards. 

Yes, sleep first, difficult conversations later.

* * *

Geralt woke up with a pleasant weight in his arms and a smell of coffee. 

“Good morning, sleepy heads.” He heard a soft murmur before Yen leaned down to kiss their foreheads. 

“Jaskier still asleep?” Geralt asked, rubbing his eyes and taking his mug from Yen’s hands. 

“Yeah. He looks tired, maybe you were right, maybe there’s something going with him?”

The look he had given her made her skin crawl with something very uncomfortable and akin to fear. In hushed tone Geralt told her everything and all she had to say was an eloquent  _ ‘fuck’. _

He hummed in agreement. He drank half of his coffee in silence when Jaskier begun to stir. 

“Do I smell coffee?” He mumbled incoherently.

“I’ll make you one.” Yen said, but Jaskier already took a sip from Geralt’s mug. And then immediately regretted it.

“God, I forgot for a minute that you’re drinking your coffee without any sugar.” He complained and Geralt smirked. “Have I been sleeping in my clothes again?”

Fuck. He really thought he’ll get at least twenty more minutes to get his shit together and actually think about what he wants to tell him. 

“Yeah, you did. I carried you here from Ciri’s room.”

Jaskier’s face became white in a blink of an eye.

“And I heard you, Jaskier.”

He looked away, clearly ashamed.

“ _ All  _ of it.”

There was a heavy silence and Geralt hated every single second of it. Then, Jaskier sighed loudly and shifted in his place. He looked tired and miserable, and  _ sad. _

“What do you want me to say? I’m trying to… I don’t know, be useful to you in any way I can, all right?”

“But-”

“Don’t ‘but’ me now, Geralt! You have a child now, under your care, so that makes a three of you an actual family, like you’ve always wanted and I have no bloody idea where’s - if there is - a place for me.” Jaskier sounded hysterical; Geralt knew it was from bottling up his emotions. “I’m- I’m tired, I’m fucking exhausted, but I want you all to be happy, okay? Even if that means-”

“Stop there, you fucking idiot!” He never finished what he had wanted to say, because Yen almost threw her mug, frustrated and  _ scared. _ She hugged him, tightly, even if only for a moment. “ _ You’re _ our family, understood? I won’t take any of that, not now, not ever.”

And she stormed out of the room. Geralt sighed and also hugged Jaskier, more tenderly than Yennefer did.

“I have a feeling that we’ll have this conversation again, that wasn’t exactly healthy way to deal with emotions.” Jaskier said, a bit calmer now, and Geralt snorted, somehow feeling amused. 

“Yup. We were worried, Jaskier. And I think we need a moment to cool down, all of us, okay? Then we’ll have a talk about how  _ important _ you are to us and how we couldn’t do any of this without you.”

Jaskier nodded, a bit hesitant, but he looked… calmer. Maybe even happier.

“I need more coffee though, not this devil’s blood you and Yen seem to drink. And God, I need a shower. Long one.” He complained while getting out of bed. 

Geralt knew they’re going to be just fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, as you see for yourselves, I'm definitely more into soft, "I'm actually able to hold a longer conversation" Geralt, because that's how this idiot is portrayed in the books (I'm still reading the second one, but I'm really angry, Geralt genuinely cares for Jaskier and he shows it by NOT screaming at poor bards on the mountains). Yennefer happened to have feelings because I said so. 
> 
> Also I'm sorry if you feel as if this conversation should be more elaborate - I'm just really shitty in expressing that type of fears by you know, talking. I tried my best though, I hope you liked it!!
> 
> If you have any suggestions, comments or maybe even some prompts - leave me a comment!!


	5. You spin me right round, baby, right round like a record

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaskier and Yennefer have a bonding time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I was writing this one, I've started to think that once you published something that stood nearby angst or h/c there's no coming back. I'll try to do better next time, I promise.
> 
> Important note: this chapter is dedicated to [my lovely friend](https://archiveofourown.org/users/heismysoulmate/pseuds/heismysoulmate)! She asked and she shall recieve (also go check her works, they're good!).
> 
> Chapter's title from You Spin Me Round (Like a Record) by Dead or Alive, because I'm cheesy like that.

Loud music was blazing in his eyes, but god, he  _ loved _ it. He actually missed the way his body was becoming the one with steady beat of whatever they had decided to play in the club today. He wasn't partying that much these days, but Yennefer said she was bored and neither of them wanted to wait for Geralt to "entertain" them. Besides, Jaskier thought of it as a  _ bonding exercise. _

Yen looked stunning, cold, neon lights illuminated her body in a truly marvelous way and black, definitely expensive, dress made her look like a queen, if queens were sinners (in a kinky way, not the usual one). He knew how desirable she was, for all the people in the club, but even though, she managed to keep a tiny bit of distance between other people's bodies. He watched out for her drink while sipping on his third cosmopolitan and he knew that if she didn't come to finish hers fancy alcoholic  _ something _ in the next thirty seconds, he's going to drink it himself, because he  _ really _ wanted to put his hands on her (in a very consensual manner) and just  _ dance _ until he either sober up or forget his way home. Miraculously, Yen saw his growing impatience and she taunted him to come along. And god he never said  _ no _ to such a sweet invitation.

It was a great night - it was important for both of them to need each other, learn who they are to one another, how to do things without Geralt, but universe just  _ loves _ fucking things up for him. 

Two, not really aggressive, but fucking irritating, taps on his shoulder distracted him from kissing Yennefer's soft skin. He turned to face whoever did this and he met a man with a colourful drink in his hand. He looked a bit disgusted and a lot like someone who should’ve mind their own business. 

"Hey, you know it's a gay bar, right?"

God. Another one?

"Yeah, and?" He had a feeling the guy's going to be an asshole. He hates assholes. Why can't people leave him alone to do his stuff? 

"Nothing, it's just, how to put it? You're here with a lady and you don't look that gay."

Jaskier's blood boiled. He was already two steps ahead of himself, screaming right in the face of the stranger. 

" _ I _ don't look that gay? And what the fuck that's supposed to mean? Did you fucking hear that, Yen? Your fucking  _ audacity, _ I can't, I'm going-"

Jaskier didn't get the occasion to finish the sentence, because Yen knew what was going to happen and held his wrist tightly. 

"Yen, let me go, please." Just one more step and he'll reach the face of this asshole, just a bit closer...

"Jaskier, out."

"Fuck, Yen-"

" _ Out. _ "

Maybe he shouldn’t drink his alcohol that fast. 

Cold air sobered him up. He was still angry and it was a good thing that Yen didn’t look pissed, only a bit annoyed. 

“Why did you make me leave, I-” Once again, Yennefer didn’t let him finished the sentence, saying:

“I really don’t want to be the one to call Geralt and say he needs to bail us out.  _ Again. _ Besides, they played shitty music, I want to go home.”

_ Home, _ it was nice of her to say that. They still tried to work it out without unintentionally hurting each other. Jaskier sighed heavily. It was a good argument, actually. 

“Okay. Let’s go home”.

* * *

Yennefer’s laughter was light and loud - she didn’t try to hold back, even though she hadn’t been as drunk as Jaskier was. She knew her limitations, she wasn’t anywhere near them, but she felt the need to be a little more careless. Slowly, she started to feel this way around Jaskier, even if it wasn’t something that happened often. It was nice, to lie by his side, in comfortable clothes and listen as he talked about everything and nothing at once.

“I can’t believe you said that to him!”

“Well, he was a proper douche, Yen! What I was supposed to do, hm?”

She started to giggle again - okay, maybe she was a little wasted,  _ so what? _ It’s not like there was anyone to judge her. Jaskier looked at her with broad smile, his blue eyes all sparkled up. He seemed happy and she was learning to appreciate it.

“I don’t know, I just ignore people like him. I don’t have time for that bullshit.”

Jaskier was silent for a while. Then he said something, quietly and seriously, that made her sober up a bit.

“I was afraid that you won’t have time for my bullshit too. You and Geralt, I mean.” 

“What do you mean?”

He shrugged, staring at the white ceiling above them. 

“It wouldn’t be the first time.”

“Jaskier, I would never-” She stammered and sat up, unable to verbalise her thoughts properly. They raced through her head too fast to focus on a single one. Fuck, that wasn’t a conversation she imagined she would have after this amount of alcohol. She had never tried to purposefully end someone’s relationship and she didn’t plan on changing it. She had many flaws, but she refused to be this type of person.

“I know it, Yen. And I’m happy you’re here, with us.” He finally looked at her, smiling softly. His eyes were sad and she knew there’s a lot to unpack about his past. All three of them were troubled, for sure, they just have different ways to cope with it. Geralt became silent, more reserved, Yennefer had sarcasm and ability to hurt people before they can hurt her and Jaskier hid behind his sunny smiles, flamboyant behaviour and his music. 

Maybe one day he’ll trust her enough to confide in her. And maybe one day she’ll confide in him too.

“I’m also happy.” She found herself saying without thinking, but it was  _ true. _ “I think you’re the best that happened to me, but if you’ll repeat it to Geralt, I’ll throw your guitar out of the bloody window.”

He gasped theatrically, pretending to be deeply hurt. Whatever had haunted him was gone, at least for now.  _ Good _ , she thought.  _ No more dwelling on the past today. _

“Yennefer!”

Jaskier laughed when Yennefer glared at him.

“We should do this more often, you know?”

“What, threatening other people and then each other? I thought we were already doing it.”

Jaskier rolled his eyes fondly and poured them another drink. He’ll have hell of a hangover tomorrow, but she’s not going to stop him. Someone’s got to tease him and she was ready to  _ bear _ this responsibility. 

“No, I mean going out together and having fun. You’re a great companion and you’re a great dancer. I kinda missed this.”

“Geralt will be jealous.”

Jaskier smirked mischievously. 

“Well, we should certainly let him be jealous.” 

Yennefer almost choked on her drink, but fuck, Jaskier was right. That would be something.

“I really hope you’re already have a plan.”

“My dear, I have at least three. We just need him to come home and he won’t know what hit him.”

Oh, she was sure of it. And she was even getting excited. It’s not her fault she liked to  _ play. _

But for now… well. If she cuddled Jaskier and held him close while he was falling asleep - that’s only her business. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is for saying that whoever you're dating: you're valid! Don't let _any_ asshole tell you otherwise.
> 
> Sorry for any grammatical errors and if you have a request or anything you would like to read: let me know and I'll try my best to deliver it!


	6. I keep falling, maybe half the time, but it's all the rage back home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes Jaskier falls apart, but he always has his darlings to pick him up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long time no see! I know you haven't heard much from me lately, but frankly speaking, I haven't been very inspired lately. And then I saw Joey's cute selfie I had saved on my phone and I realised I miss Jaskier a lot. And I remembered my old ideas, stored for later. So I've written it in like three hours, on my phone, because I was too lazy to get up and get my laptop (so sorry for any mistakes), and here we are. 
> 
> TW for panic attacks (I wrote it how it feels for me, and that's why dialogues might seem a little chaotic, but if you think I should change something, let me know!), mentions of homophobia, and general shitty parenting.
> 
> Chapter title from Interpol's "All The Rage Back Home".

Geralt was fairly sure that this is going to be a perfectly normal Saturday. He planned on making a casserole with broccolis, because Ciri liked it, Yen had been sleeping late and allowed herself to spend some time without an armour made of makeup and expensive, elegant clothes, and Jaskier took Ciri to the city. She wanted to buy a birthday present for her girlfriend, so Jaskier volunteered to help. He had a good eye for details and sixth sense for buying presents. 

The house was peaceful, they had been drinking coffee in silence, watching news in living room. It had been a nice day until they heard a loud crack and Jaskier, saying:

“Just please go to your room, alright? I'll help you pack your present later, I promise.”

Ciri, passing through the hallway, shot Geralt a confused and worried look. He already knew that something was wrong, Jaskier had been much louder, he liked to announce his presence and give his lovers small gifts he always brought to cheer them up. They asked multiple times why he's doing this, but after some time they just got used to it; Jaskier's love language is not only writing poetry and making songs, but also giving them small trinkets, flowers and practical stuff he had found in various places.

Geralt came to the hallway just in time to see Jaskier, sauntering down in the corner, his face had the colour of ash, and he was trembling visibly. 

“Oh my god-- I can't-- I-I–” His eyes, so wide, and full of panic, made him move and kneel next to him, not touching, but close enough to made him aware of his presence.

It wasn't the first time Jaskier had a panic attack, but the last one had been so long ago that Geralt almost forgot what to do. 

“Please-- I wouldn't-- I never-- I'm not-- I'm not–”

“Jask, love, you're hyperventilating. Deep breaths, try to match mine, okay? I'll hold your hand and press it to my chest, like we used to do. You're safe, it's going to be alright.”

"I-- Geralt!”

“Shhh, it's all right. Focus on breathing, everything is fine.”

There was a time when Geralt was completely useless when it came to taking care of people (or himself), feelings, and generally being a socially responsible human being. It wasn't like he had been a bad person, he just had been an introvert, a workaholic, and also a bit of a misanthrope. It got better after meeting Jaskier and Yennefer, and he flourished with all it took to take care of Ciri, but still. There were times when it was hard for him to find right words or do things that would make people feel better instead of worse. 

Jaskier begun to fall into his arms, unable to hold himself up any longer, but his breathing became more regular. Even though he still looked startled and panicked, Geralt thought that maybe they can move to bedroom, to hide for a moment (and maybe Yen woke up by now, so she could help him handle whatever had made their _dandelion_ so upset and clearly hurt).

“What's going on?” Yen stood in a doorway, her hair disheveled from sleeping, but already tied up in pretty, very fashionable bun. She wore one of Geralt's t-shirts as a nightshirt, since it was clearly too big for her, but she never cared about these things anyway. She looked stunning wearing Versace, and oversized clothes, because that's who she is.

“Would you mind making us some tea? Also there are sandwiches for you on the counter, if you'd like.” Geralt said, helping Jaskier to stand. He hid his face in his chest, still shaking, but at least a bit calmer now. 

Yen looked as if she wanted to pry, but when she realised that Jaskier hadn't said a word of his usual welcome or at least some cheeky, flirty comment about her appearance, she just nodded and did what Geralt asked. He knew that in five minutes, she'll be with them in bed, cuddling Jaskier from behind, and giving him reassurance and comfort. But for now, they just going to lay down in silence for some time.

When Yennefer came with two steaming cups of tea, Jaskier sighed deeply and sat up. Yen also passed him some tissues and one of her sandwiches to nibble on. She sat next to her, immediately playing with his hair to help him relax and calm down.

“You don't have to tell us what happened, but it think it could help,  _ we _ could help.” Yen said quietly, as Geralt and Jaskier took sips of their drinks. Jaskier's mug, so large, he could barely hold it in two hands, had a print with colourful, folk flowers, and he was very fond of it. Geralt's was black with tiny, cartoonish wolves, and it was a gift from twelve year old Ciri, so obviously, it was his favourite mug. If it wasn't for slightly trembling Jaskier, they could pretend they have a late morning and no worries on their minds.

Jaskier sighed again.

“I know. I just… I haven't expected to see  _ him _ there. We were coming home, and Ciri… Oh, god–”

“Shhh, it's alright. You're safe, she's safe, we're fine.”

“Yeah, I know. I know.” He took another deep breath and his fingers clenched around his mug. “It's just… she wanted coffee, and we were nearby our favourite coffeeshop, you know, the one Maddie had been working in, so I said  _ yeah, we can grab some coffee, why not. _ We crossed town square, so we could get there faster, and–”

He looked close to crying again, so both of them moved a bit closer to him, in a bit useless attempt of protecting him from what had already happened.

“ _ He _ walked out of the building at the moment we we're passing through. And he was all like  _ Julian, I haven't expected to see you here, _ as if he had been the owner of the whole fucking city. I had no fucking choice, but to answer him, I was with Ciri, and I really tried to be civil. And then he had been saying something about work, I don't give a rat's ass about work, but then… God.”

He took another pause to calm himself, drink more tea, and eat a small bite of his sandwich.

"This motherfucker said to me  _ Lord, Julian, you're dating younger and younger every time I see you. Is she even legal? But at least it's a woman now, you finally came to your senses. _ He-- he hadn't even look at her, but he had been so patronising, and-- and oh God, I remember saying  _ she's my daughter, you dick _ and walking away with Ciri's hand in mine, I couldn't let her go, I couldn't-- I can't-- I didn't-”

They sit in silence, waiting for Jaskier to collect himself. Geralt put his mug away to hold his hand, while Yen hugged his other side. 

“I don't remember coming home, I just knew I had to hold myself together, for Ciri. I can't believe he's still making me feel like I'm fifteen, and I keep remembering things he said to me, done to me, I was his  _ son, he was supposed to love me unconditionally, both of them– _ ” He started sobbing uncontrollably, and their hearts broke again. There's nothing they could do, but hold him. 

Neither of them had the best relationship with parents, but they knew that Jaskier's parents were the most abusive. Geralt had been adopted by Vesemir early enough so he barely remembered his never present mother and Yen had left to live with her aunt Tissaia when she was twelve, and she had enough of time and resources to work on what her stepfather put her through. Jaskier might have been born in wealthy family, but he was left all alone and neglected for a long time. It resulted in a lot of poor choices and even more heartbreaks, until meeting Geralt and, later, Yen.

“Oh, darling. Now you have us, you won't be alone again. We're never, ever,  _ ever _ going to leave you.”

Geralt hummed and helped Jaskier wipe out tears. 

“You know, I'm ready to stab him. It could look like an accident. Everybody could trip and fall down on a knife. Or knives, plural. It's totally possible.” Jaskier snorted, because he wouldn't say it out loud, but he really liked when Geralt offered to stab people. It was usually Yen's line, but he could deliver it pretty well, almost as scary as she is.

“Thank you, my darlings, but I'm not planning on meeting him any time soon. Besides, it would be a waste of perfectly nice knives.”

They laughed weakly, but they all lighten up a bit. They had each other, and they had Ciri. It was more than enough. 

“Oh, dear. My tea is cold. I'll go get myself a new one, I should go check on Ciri, anyway. She's probably scared and confused, and I promised to help her wrap up presents she had bought.”

“I can talk to her, if you'd like.” Yen offered, getting out of bed with him.

“No, it's fine.” Jaskier flashed her a quick smile. “She's my  _ daughter _ , after all.”

Geralt smiled and stood up. He had a dinner to make for his  _ family. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I still haven't read books and I still don't know what I'm doing. 
> 
> About a mug: I'm not a big fan of folklore, but I thought it could be a nice detail, so I used the most famous [flower print ](https://fashioncolors.pl/3159/xwzor-lowicki-czarny.jpg.pagespeed.ic.CkI-JAuTzj.jpg) from my country. And it's fitting, because books about The Witcher are Polish, I really couldn't resist.
> 
> If you have a request or anything you would like to read: let me know and I'll try my best to deliver it!


End file.
